I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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