This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
