Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
