Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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