He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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