Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
