so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
