new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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