This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
