Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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