chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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