So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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