you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
