dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
