remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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