Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize