I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
