I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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