I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
