If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
