this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
