is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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