he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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