garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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