Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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