porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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