nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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