He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
