You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
