i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize