who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
