I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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