is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
