You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize