just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize