So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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