idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize