walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
