Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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