She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
