I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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