just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
