Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
