Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
