Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
