I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
