Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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