to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
