You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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