worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
