You really coming over, don't trick.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
