saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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