Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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