New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
