Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
