i just snorted my name. best moment ever
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
