Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
