so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
