Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
How external is "for external use only"?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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