I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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