It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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