You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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