This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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