i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
