He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
