Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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