I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
