Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
