my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Randomize
