im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
