will power is for people who don't want to get laid
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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