in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
