she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize