you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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