I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
