so explain again why im purple
no
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
